Happy

Confused

Twisted

I have this sick twisted feeling. I know i can do better and will do better it's just so frustrating. It quite possibly is my biggest fear and I don't know why. It's not that bad for you, in fact it can make you stronger but it's just so disappointing to know you can always do better. Sigh. Just gotta get right back to work.

Best Weekend Ever

Sleepovers
Beach, santa monica and venice
Street Performers
Hand holding
Kisses
Hiking
Climbing/bouldering
Waterfalls
Freaky worm things
Eating (lots of it)
Game night, frustration, ER, speed, spit, square and hearts
Sleeping in
Bad Thai Movies
Long ass Walk
Crab legs

Magic.

Yay

It should all be amazing.

Scary

Hope it turns out ok.

Per special request?

Lecture. Feels like the same old. Same as 2008? Time to start on the right foot.

New year... same old?

Nothing really feels different about the new years. I don't really do resolutions. Just continuing the same old. But there's nothing wrong with that. I like what I'm doing.

Let's see what happens.

A squirrel

I saw a squirrel. It looked at me. It seemed curious, I know I was.

7:32

Peace. Calmness. Ok.
Being ok.

Here Now.
Sincerity, clearness.
Simple.

9:50

Hot. Sweaty. Happy.
Typing. Studying. Thinking.
Learning. Caring. Loving.
Wondering. Staying. Moment.
Present. Tomorrow. Difficult.
Words. Expressionless.
Enso.

11:48

How painful was that,
4 hours, writing up notes,
Neck tight, wrists sore
Concentration lacking.

Desire to leave and play volleyball.

Freedom soon.

But it's 11:49 and I choose to stay in the moment.

4:35

The sweet taste on my tongue.
Not a pleasant sweetness.
A painful taste that poisons my brain.
Rotting away,
Makes me nauseous.

Disgusted by the choice of the drink,
That led to this turn of events,
How to rinse the mouth of this nastiness,
It spreads and won't leave me alone.

How to be rid of this disgust, this disdain,
It sounds as if it's something else.
But this is all from a drink.
Maybe it's something more.


How to write to stay in the moment, when it's the thoughts that give us poetry? Difficult. I think so. Thinking... maybe that's the poison. Interesting...

I'm learning.

A new series called Moments

In the spirit of being in the moment and focusing on the here and now.

I am going to start writing some poetry describing the moment that I'm in. It could be very spontaneous and just apply to whatever I'm doing. We'll see how it goes.

KISS some more

I've got to start early with the studying I like. I knew this stuff, I just can't make silly mistakes. I want to take my philosophy of be here now, of every moment and put it to every question.

6'2 is 14 inches taller than 5. These things can't happen. I can't put 12. I can't multiple .8 by lbs and not kg. I know these things. I have to fix these mistakes. I am going to fix these mistakes. This is my life. This is my career. This is what I do. I improve. I strive to be the best every moment I can. This is my pledge that I will do better every moment I can.

Let me be one with the zen enso. Keep it simple.

Kiss. Keep it sweet and simple

I should try this. The chase is tiring. and there are more important things in life.

KISS.

School, health, basketball, friends, family, learning. Let's just keep it simple.

First exams

Let's do it.

What now

I guess sometime's it is hard to live life in the moment. I am curious as to where life is taking me? Girls? Exams? Well I guess that's it, somewhat sadly. I am enjoying studying and the "hunt?" I guess, but the final outcome is unsure and who knows. I guess that's the mystery but it's been a while since I've done this, exam and dating or anything. I duno. I don't know... C'est la vie.

Exams and such

The practice exam is coming and then we have exam week coming up. I don't know when it will really hit me, I am trying to study a lot. I hope my technique is good now, doing the LO and trying to really understand. But I guess I won't really know until the first exam.

That is pretty much the life now, lectures, and studying, not even any time for basketball. Maybe I should try to go tonight.

The routine

The routine has started to settle in. I thought I'd write more but it just hasn't come to me. I shall keep trying.