Zen Enso

Happy

2009-07-19T00:35:00.001-07:00

Confused

2009-04-04T01:46:00.001-07:00

Twisted

2009-03-28T09:36:00.001-07:00

I have this sick twisted feeling. I know i can do better and will do better it's just so frustrating. It quite possibly is my biggest fear and I don't know why. It's not that bad for you, in fact it can make you stronger but it's just so disappointing to know you can always do better. Sigh. Just gotta get right back to work.

Best Weekend Ever

2009-01-19T16:05:00.000-08:00

Sleepovers
Beach, santa monica and venice
Street Performers
Hand holding
Kisses
Hiking
Climbing/bouldering
Waterfalls
Freaky worm things
Eating (lots of it)
Game night, frustration, ER, speed, spit, square and hearts
Sleeping in
Bad Thai Movies
Long ass Walk
Crab legs

Magic.

Yay

2009-01-19T15:58:00.001-08:00

It should all be amazing.

Scary

2009-01-16T09:38:00.001-08:00

Hope it turns out ok.

Per special request?

2009-01-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

Lecture. Feels like the same old. Same as 2008? Time to start on the right foot.

New year... same old?

2009-01-01T19:21:00.001-08:00

Nothing really feels different about the new years. I don't really do resolutions. Just continuing the same old. But there's nothing wrong with that. I like what I'm doing.

Let's see what happens.

A squirrel

2008-11-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

I saw a squirrel. It looked at me. It seemed curious, I know I was.

7:32

2008-10-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

Peace. Calmness. Ok.
Being ok.

Here Now.
Sincerity, clearness.
Simple.

9:50

2008-10-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

Hot. Sweaty. Happy.
Typing. Studying. Thinking.
Learning. Caring. Loving.
Wondering. Staying. Moment.
Present. Tomorrow. Difficult.
Words. Expressionless.
Enso.

11:48

2008-10-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

How painful was that,
4 hours, writing up notes,
Neck tight, wrists sore
Concentration lacking.

Desire to leave and play volleyball.

Freedom soon.

But it's 11:49 and I choose to stay in the moment.

4:35

2008-10-14T16:35:00.001-07:00

The sweet taste on my tongue.
Not a pleasant sweetness.
A painful taste that poisons my brain.
Rotting away,
Makes me nauseous.

Disgusted by the choice of the drink,
That led to this turn of events,
How to rinse the mouth of this nastiness,
It spreads and won't leave me alone.

How to be rid of this disgust, this disdain,
It sounds as if it's something else.
But this is all from a drink.
Maybe it's something more.

How to write to stay in the moment, when it's the thoughts that give us poetry? Difficult. I think so. Thinking... maybe that's the poison. Interesting...

I'm learning.

A new series called Moments

2008-10-14T14:55:00.001-07:00

In the spirit of being in the moment and focusing on the here and now.

I am going to start writing some poetry describing the moment that I'm in. It could be very spontaneous and just apply to whatever I'm doing. We'll see how it goes.

KISS some more

2008-10-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

I've got to start early with the studying I like. I knew this stuff, I just can't make silly mistakes. I want to take my philosophy of be here now, of every moment and put it to every question.

6'2 is 14 inches taller than 5. These things can't happen. I can't put 12. I can't multiple .8 by lbs and not kg. I know these things. I have to fix these mistakes. I am going to fix these mistakes. This is my life. This is my career. This is what I do. I improve. I strive to be the best every moment I can. This is my pledge that I will do better every moment I can.

Let me be one with the zen enso. Keep it simple.

Kiss. Keep it sweet and simple

2008-10-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

I should try this. The chase is tiring. and there are more important things in life.

KISS.

School, health, basketball, friends, family, learning. Let's just keep it simple.

First exams

2008-10-05T11:43:00.001-07:00

Let's do it.

What now

2008-09-23T16:38:00.001-07:00

I guess sometime's it is hard to live life in the moment. I am curious as to where life is taking me? Girls? Exams? Well I guess that's it, somewhat sadly. I am enjoying studying and the "hunt?" I guess, but the final outcome is unsure and who knows. I guess that's the mystery but it's been a while since I've done this, exam and dating or anything. I duno. I don't know... C'est la vie.

Exams and such

2008-09-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

The practice exam is coming and then we have exam week coming up. I don't know when it will really hit me, I am trying to study a lot. I hope my technique is good now, doing the LO and trying to really understand. But I guess I won't really know until the first exam.

That is pretty much the life now, lectures, and studying, not even any time for basketball. Maybe I should try to go tonight.

The routine

2008-09-10T10:36:00.000-07:00

The routine has started to settle in. I thought I'd write more but it just hasn't come to me. I shall keep trying.

Times are a moving

2008-09-03T17:15:00.001-07:00

Lecture and notes and friends and relationships and studying and dissecting and basketball and poker and craziness and pictures and fun and frustration.

Simple enough.

The day before you know you're really in med school...

2008-08-28T22:15:00.000-07:00

We dissect tomorrow. A cadaver. One of the most profound first events of medical school. I feel somewhat ill-prepared. We're just going to go right in and do it. I'm not nervous, not scared, not excited. I just am. But yet, my mind in little ways tries to comprehend the magnitude of this event. It all has really started now, the studying, the routine, the ICM, the lessons... and now the cadaver. We'll see how it goes. And then the weekend... and vegas? What a crazy time.

Bright and Early

2008-08-28T06:48:00.001-07:00

The days start early and may go late, but the routines already starting to kick in. And while I don't know if the waking up early part, it is an enjoyable routine. I can't imagine spending my time as a medical student any other way. I get to still do what I want, I am learning (or reviewing) and get to see my friends everyday. What an experience. I don't think anything really prepares you for it, it's just so different and so cool.

A new start

2008-08-26T23:21:00.000-07:00

So here I am in Los Angeles. I never would have thought. It's quite a fresh, new start. New people, new area, new everything. Even at times, I feel it's a new me. It's definitely a new me from the time I started college, from the time I ended college, from any other time. Then that is the essence of now. I am only where I am now, and that is ok.

Peering at the hills of LA, thinking about the amazing people that are here. I can't help but to feel so lucky and blessed. It's been an amazing start to what will be an amazing journey.

Another blog another change in style

2008-08-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

Shifts in my perspectives have brought me here.

Living in the moment.

Let's see where it takes me.